Social Skills

Overview

Most of what children learn about manners, friendship, and welcome they learn at home, long before anyone calls it a lesson. They learn it from the way a parent answers the door, speaks to a waiter, or stays on the phone with a grieving friend. This guide is meant to make that ordinary teaching a little more intentional, and a lot more two-sided.

The first set of questions is for children to ask their parents. Children are curious about who their parents were at eight or fifteen: who their friends were, which manners they were taught and by whom, who welcomed them when they were new, and where the family came from. When you answer, give names, places, and particulars. A story about the neighbor who taught you to shake hands will stay with a child longer than any rule, and it ties them to people they may never meet.

The second set is for parents to ask their children, arranged by the same three levels as the units: Foundations (about 6 to 9), Developing (about 10 to 13), and Mature (about 14 to 18). These ages are rough guides; choose the level where your child can answer with a little stretch. Ask one or two at a time, in the car, on a walk, or at the end of dinner, and resist correcting the answers. The point is to hear how your child sees things.

The third part is things to do together. Each unit already has family exercises inside its levels; this guide points to them and adds one more per unit that the whole household can share. None of it requires a curriculum night. A recipe, a walk, a note, and an empty chair at the table offered to a newcomer are enough.

How to use

• Pick one unit a month, or follow whatever unit your child is studying at school.
• Parents answer first when the questions are for you, and answer honestly, including the times you got it wrong.
• Keep the questions light: one good conversation is better than ten rushed ones.
• Write down the family stories you hear. They become part of what you hand on.

Scripture